Hallo there, people.
As you can see- ^^- from the left tab below, ^^, the number of followers ^^ for this particurlar blog ^^, have somehow, miraculously ^^ adds up to...^^ more than 100!!
Ha-ha. Which is, well, nothing to brag on exactly, considering the fact that there are millions of people out there whom have two or three blogs and all of them manage to score more than a thousand followers in one single post in one single day.
So, 100 for the blogging world would be..umm...well, nothing much.
But, being immature and all, Cokelatchip and I was over the moon with this achievement. For us, being able to actually reach the three digit is a, well, you can call it a success, we even went out celebrating with Kyros Kebab and all (actually, she just wanted to return my books she've been borrowing for weeks, but who cares?)
Reminiscing back to the days on how this blog was actually formed, I came to realize it was pretty drastic exactly. It all started back then to a day where Cokelatchip and I was in this one classroom, discussing about random topics bla bla bla, and like fate or something, we started talking about Palestine. I couldn't remember what it was about but, I knew for sure, that it must have been pretty heartbreaking as there were tear flows along the with the line of words we formed.
And came exactly that night, we created a blog. The first post was in Malay, or rather bahasa rojak kinda Malay and the terms we used to address ourselves in the posts were ana, antum (LOL!) which totally goes beyond the way we really are. With one posts after another, the ana antum vanished and so does the Malay words..(not that we have anything against it, okay...)
We just became ourselves, and the posts became sincerer that way. We felt more attached to some of the things we voice out, and did our best to put thoughts into words. Man, it was hard.
Because somehow or other, we're not genuinely bloggers ourselves. We're not the kind of girl that posts on a daily basis and know how to exactly string a word together in less than a minute. Unlike, some of my friends, (total salute to them) of course, they blog almost everyday and their every words are addictive; you crave to know more. Some people, they blog one once a week. And for us, however, well lets just say, Cokelatchip and I didn't set up a timeline on when exactly do we have to post. And so, the blog doesn't become a burden but just merely a place where we could actually voice out our opinions to humankind of all ages that possess the internet line.
And yes, sometimes, having such blog becomes an issue in your life. Cokelatchip once asked me if I was feeling what she felt; hypocritical.
Well,.....-.-" of course, I do. I feel it all the time I write down a post. Like, there I was, posting on how the next generation is going to make a change, how Islam shouldn't be mistaken as a religion that promotes terrorism, how Allah is looking at the effort of the muslims and all and yet; undeniably, there are times that I doubt whether or not I am actually the ideal person to be writing about such topic. Honestly, if you know me, you know me. I'm 'that' compared to ..'that' (with angelic cues on the background noise).
So yes, I do feel pretty hypocrite sometimes. ^^
And there would be times, when people would just dare to give you negative remarks straight on to you like it didn't actually matter how you'd feel (not that I was any dramatic about it either). I remembered a friend of mine saying out loud about her opinion on people who loves to exaggerate the big stuff and forget to look at the small, miniature things we often neglects. I didn't get her at first, but when I did, it hit me like a big slap on the face. Her words were pretty glassy. It goes like.
"Kite Palestine sane, Palestine sine, pom pang sane, pom pang sini, yang orang dalam Malaysia sendiri marane, kite tak kisah pulak. Ade orang tak cukup makan, tak boleh pergi sekolah..Ade yang hidup merempat, tu kita tak nak crita."
which simply would have meant (honestly, I just dont do direct translation), "Why can't we just sometimes look at the situation in our own country where there are also people at the verge of dying? There are people here in Malaysia with no food, no education, no home and yet, we don't even talk about them."
(roughly, the Malay version sounded glassier)
And at that time she was saying it, I was just right there feeling OUCH..that hurts. Eventhough, of course, she must have not mean to like offend me or anything.
Not that I was much offended or demotivated at all, because, yeah, she has a point, somehow.
And there were times where I, personally, would also take this blog pessimistically. It usually happens when I blogwalk (which is a term used when you jump from a blog to another one based on the link provided from one or few of the other blogs you opened earlier). I would be reading posts after posts of what a person do in his or her life and I'd be very much amused by how interesting and fun their days always seems to be. Even if, you know, like they don't do anything much but some of their relatives just happen to drop by or something, I'd love to read it anyway because their link says I-AM-ROCKING-COOL-MAYBE or S.E.C.R.ET Diary of a PRincess or HARDCORE girl in DILEMMA which all to me, sounded, wow~catchy
And here I am, having ALAQSAARMY and PALESTINE..OURSLike, who'd read that?
*bangs head on the table, giggles alone*
yeah, maybe we should change it TWO ROCKING COOL GIRLS'S SECRET DIARY DILEMMA, then we might actually have more people reading the posts ^^..Oh God~
..will the blog's header look likes this?
So, yes, creating this blog has been quite a something that fills in our life.
We don't write in this blog to show how much we know (which exactly isn't that much) or to brag on our concern or to potray to the world the kind of girl we are (I've told you how I am not yet 'that good girl' I should have been). Nor is it because we don't care about what's happening in our own country (we do, for God sake, we do!) or that we lead an extremely boring life that no one would read even if we actually make a blog about it (hey,hello...).
It's true that we're not that exactly perfect enough to be typing down things that are rated islamic and religion and most importantly, Palestine, but the thing that kept us going was the fact that we know that>> we're never gonna be perfect. And if we wanna wait till that one day where we have some PhD or u know, a few qualifications from the world that says we're good enough, it would take forever and we don't live 'forever'. Come tomorrow marks another day, and I doubt it that I'd be better everyday. I may get worse. I may lose interest, I'd get busy or I don't know...the point is,
I chose today because I live today.
Being me and only me, a person who is still learning.
Sod the fact that we don't memorize every verse of the Quran, or that we can't quote a Hadith without making a mistake.
There will always be something that we lack of and if we choose to stress upon our weak side, we ain't going anywhere.
And I'm telling you, that's the biggest reason why Palestine can't be free until today. The mindsets of Muslims at this era is so different from how it was years and years ago. Today, people would give excuses all along, like "it's not my thing yet" or.."i'm not good enough" or.."well, i dont wanna be seen as an extremist, coz i'm not"...and all..
and I don't blame them. I've felt pretty much the same all the time.
I'm a human too.
I crave for what human desire and I crave for human's blessing. Often times, I'd look at what human would think than what Islam would.
Often times, I compromize~
And I regret that, of course.
So, if Cokelatchip and I are not perfect enough and we claim to have a super-duper interesting life, then why do we write in here? Why Palestine?
Because it's the least we could do.
And the least we could answer to Him. For the time being.
If I would love for the opression to stop, for Palestine to be free, for Islam to unite, I might as well do something than just lay behind my back, doing nothing.
We may be not good enough, but at least, we're trying.
I'm 18. Cokelatchip's 18. And we might die at 18. We don't know.
by: FaithHana. (A real post on Nakbah Day coming soon, sorry ^^)
Thanks again to the followers! You guys might not know this but by that simple click of public following, you have boosted our spirits like totally zooommm! thanx yo!