observing and experiencing...total silence in action

Salam Alaikum everyone,

Yeah, it have been 10 months actually since I last blogged.

The thing is, I get very bad at writing these days. I tried posting a couple of times but my views are totally knowledge-limited. And whenever I discuss any worldly issue with my family and friends, the world situation is all tangled and messed up that I don't exactly know who's saying the real deal. I can't even eleborate on a newspaper article before one of my relatives started pointing out that it's crap and here's the real story.

I know it sounded like I'm running away from responsibility of finding the truth. It almost sounded too, like I'm giving up.
Yeah, you can say that.
I'm actually quite tired at so many levels of hypocrisy in this world. How some wars that are happening are not actually wars at all. How human aids are not human aids. How just about any issue in this world is being over and overly politicized.
There's nothing that I can write and I'd be happy with the substance. Coz, there's too much lies going on.

So, I decided to lay low. And it wasn't half as bad. Sometimes, you dwell too much in the big picture of the world, trying to change the mindset of the people, trying to guide the muslims, your friends, people around you, you forgot that you are supposed to be guiding yourself too.
And for months that I lay low, I saw a lot of things that I've missed.

Those surahs I've failed to memorize and understand the context; those prayers steps and meaning of each recitation, those sirah of the prophets, the way the human mind works, the issue of human complications, how some of my friends are struggling with their past and present, how education is not everything in some's life but continual survival, how attitude outways whatever principles you believe in.

I found myself back, by laying low and shutting up. I learned that it's not wrong to be me.

I know it sounded ironic, like am I telling the world now to shut up when Syria's in mass-killing and starvation, Iraq in total danger, Palestine is still in blood bath, Egypt politics is crumbling, Malaysia's hedonistic with entertainment, Indonesia's islamic identity is screwed, Turkey's still with belly dancing, Iran is still divided of sunni and syiah ~ am i telling everyone to shut up?!

No.
And Yes.

Shut up sometimes and take a step back. See, how the your life is twisting and then, reflect that on the world.
There's no way the world can be a better one, if we all just keep shouting.
Sometimes, the people who are most in silence, they understands better. They see the bigger picture with a much simpler solution.

Silence is virtue.

Faith Hana
Thanks for reading!
btw, I'm starting on a new blog just for fun. I've been listening to online lectures and I have to say, I found 'em very connecting. So, I'll have the files uploaded and see to it that readers will be able to download them.
Otherwise, I'll just redirect the links to the specific podscats.
here's the link but yeah, it's still under construction so yeah~

http://ilistenlisten.blogspot.com/ enjoy!

Celebs on the run- for or against?

Hey there, Salam Alaikum.

So I was making French Toast this morning for my dad when all of the sudden, he came barging into the kitchen and got all hype telling me about his new idea for the upcoming documentary series. I calmed him down, served the toasts and let him pour in the news. It must have been my non-frantic looks, because somehow, after 5 minutes or so, he changed the subject. We started talking about the house instead.
Lol.
I'm a bad daughter, I know.
Well, it was morning. You don't talk about work at 9 am.
When its holiday.
Or ever.

Hehs. Poor Dad will have to wait for my mum to come back from the Uni for him to be able to blurt out everything of his chest. I'll just pass this one.

So, we talked about random stuff, finishing the toast together... something about the difference between TWITTER and FACEBOOK (yes, many adults don't know how different those two are, really), when suddenly, my dad took a sip of his morning tea and asked me lightly.
"What do you think of the fact that they are using comedians as an ambassador for Islamic Causes?"

I was washing the dishes, so I didn't see his face when he said this. But the tone was undoubtedly serious.
Oh-uh, I thought. I gave a small laugh, trying to tone-down the thick atmosphere of probable rage and plopped myself back on the chair beside him. Dad was looking straight ahead-pass the wall, pass everything. Man, he can be so dang serious at times.

"You mean like Afdhlin Shauki?"

He looked at me and nodded. "Yes. The fact that they're sending a clown like him to Palestine."

Clown? okay, it was way harsher in Malay. Badut.
My Dad is calling Afdhlin Shauki 'Badut'? I want to laugh, seriously.
But then he wore all that stupid clothes and was named BOBOI with Harun Salim Bachik and..
(well, badut and boboi kan x jauh. lol)

"I dunno," I shrugged. "Maybe it's a good thing, you know. Like, that's how they pull the crowd."

"But he's a comedian. And this Palestine matter is serious," Dad added. "I don't know why but I'm sad, really. I'm disappointed at how people are perceiving this issue. How things are not the way it was.."

"You know," I started, wanting to end the conversation. "Maybe this is another way to pull the crowd. Like the Ustaz Izhar Idrus and Zizan Raja Lawak thing. No one can deny that was a success, right? These celebrities, they have the untouched market, the gazillion followers on facebook, twitter, instagram, youtube, so, their poularity does help in telling the people the real deal that is going on around the world."

"Yes,"Dad nodded. "And once it is all over, they just go back to the real them and take away with them the gazillion followers. They go back touching non-muhrims, make jokes that hurts the ummah indirectly, they go back insulting pendakwahs with the Manisnya Kurma Ini, Selami Lautan Dalam...everything. They go back worshipping celebrities and other people like them.. So, they're just a mere crowd puller. Crowd for what? Temporary repentance."

Ha-di-ha. I hate debate. I hate debating with Dad, espescially.

"You know I watch Maharaja Lawak. And Maharaja Lawak Mega," I said, vaguely.

"I know," he said. "But then that's it. These things don't mix."

I was so not in mood for early morning debate.
I rather read the nursery rhymes. Really.

"These people, these celebs, they know how to talk to the crowd," I said, being all confident. "What the crowd wants etc, they live with the crowd. They befriend the crowd. They have the attention of people that most of the utazs and ustazahs don't. So, maybe it's not a big change, but they can at least spread the awareness to the people that wouldn't very much care for Gaza at all. People who tune in to these comedians just for the sake of some humor will be forced indirectly to know their updates on these islamic causes. So there..."

There was silence as we both finished our last piece of toast.

"I believe Allah controls the heart of people," my Dad slowly says. "Not them."

Ouch.

"If this is the situation of the ummah now," he says. "It's worrying. I know I can sound so orthodox talking like this but, there are things that have essence. You don't make Qurans into small colourful children booklets  with fairies and cartoons around just to attract your children to read them. You don't make concerts with people dancing half naked and call the ticket fee funds to build a new mosque. You don't make shawls that are overly attractive with half the prints are studded with diamonds and bling-blings like some Gypsy hip just so girls will be more looking forward to cover their hair and what, lower the gaze of the men(?). You don't manipulate the islamic identity just so you wanna get the crowd. Just so you can say, "At least these people are doing 50% of the good deed."

I sipped my cold tea and smiled at Dad. Weak smile.

"If you are true to your heart," my Dad continues. "If you are sincere about your cause, you can send just anyone, and you'll get the crowd. Because from the way I see it, the cause has turned channel. It's no longer all the worries for Gaza people, it's this forever-to-be-praised celebrity that got off his comfort zone and went as an idol of the Muslims for the Muslims. The mindset had shifted."

"The great leaders of the past touched people's heart," said Dad. "Not their desires. If you give men everything, you'll lose them. Give them what they should have. Tell them what they should hear. Allah will do the rest."

"Let's just," I said slowly, clearing away the table. "Pray for the best."

"Yeah. For the best," Dad says and smiled at me...

"So! what are we having for lunch?"

I groaned and let Dad get back to his script-finalizing at the living room while I boil the water for his second cup of tea. And it got me thinking back to his words which are just plain truth.

We've been so desperate wanting to change the world, we forget how to do it properly.
My Dad might be wrong about Afdhlin Shauki. He might change after he get back, make thousands of good islamic movies, or he'll set up a really good foundation for muslims, pull even bigger teenage crowd that from rempit-ers and super comedians to people that fight for Islam.
I mean, we don't know right. Many celebrities change. There's Sham Kamikaze and Catriona Ross and okay, many of them...slowly changing, becoming even better muslims and knows how to tackle issues most of the ustazs and ustazahs don't.

But yeah. He has a point when he says things have essence.
Are we gonna delve deeper into the world where it's okay to drink at Starbucks as long as you still give donations to Palestine? Or its okay to lie down with your boyfriend on sweet smelling grassy field as long as you don't touch each other or talk about anything stupid? Or its okay to tweet 'I'm gay' and dance to 'Oppa Gangnam Style' as long as you don't mean what you say or understood the dirty meaning behind the porn dance...

This world is a complicated place.
And no matter how many times I look at it, it's us who are in deep trouble, in deep danger, in massive manipulations.
The Palestinians make thousands hafiz and hafizahs in a month. Their friends are people who dies as syahid and syahidahs. They live worshipping Allah. They die for Allah. For real.
They are guaranteed.

Where do we stand, exactly?
Are we making Islam better, or worse...think about it.
All of these will end. And there's only two ending for every individual.

Well, you know that. You're big enough.
Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Lailahaillallah, Allahuakbar.

by: FaithHana.

Dear Afdhlin Shauki, if you still get to live after the Gaza cause,  please set a good example afterwards for all of us here in Malaysia.
Because it's either my dad is wrong or we are really in a serious mess.

Testing 1, 2, 3

mbahahaha..yeah, i know.

as if~

this is so temporary, no worries. whats with my bunch of long-lost friend in there

of course i'd reactivate it.

God, life for the past 6 months have been way different from ...the 6 months before that. (Lol. So much for English HL, huh. Can't even get my vocabs right)

I tell you; KMB is so much different from what I thought it would be.

Nope; the classes are not in big halls with adjustable seats and mapel flooring bla bla..

and the hostel is not air conditioned with personal bathrooms for every room or so.

oh no

KMB is basically a school.

Yep, a school renovated, upgraded, re-labled into a ..WORLD SCHOOL ie COLLEGE

Which is...Not so bad.

Trust me, I've had it worse.

It must have been the countless group discussion and the hectic schedule that somehow made life there very very enjoyable. And no, I'm not being sarcastic. KMB, Sem 1, was a blast.

I've learnt a lot of things about human there.

Especially myself. My weakness. My strength. God, things were so obvious.

During my high school years, we have this sharing-whatever-we-know session every night after Al-Mulk which will usually take place around 11.30 to 12.00 pm (it usually drags because everybody would be busy doing other stuff like last minute laundry, ironing, supper at the dining hall, etc).

So, what we do is basically recite the al-mulk, then the last few verses of al-Hasyr, then, according to rotation of turns (sod my vocab, will ya ^^), one person will be conducting the sharing session. We'll listen to Hadith quotes or a normal friend-to-friends piece of advice, current issues and relating it islamically, peronal opinions, history of the prophets etc..

Boy, those were good times.

Anyway,

it was somewhat cliche to hear a friend going "you know, whatever you say today, you'll be tested on that in the future. Like that thing you're not agreeing with, well, who knows you'd be the one doing that so...well, beware."

and so, you can pretty much guess what our reaction would be like.

We were...slightly demotivated, confused and couldn't help agreeing to fact.

Some of us silently nodded in agreement,

some raised their own opinions, saying that "we better well share it now than never"

some'd go "well, no one's perfect. We're humans. We'll forget whatever we use to share"

Most of the people in the room, I remembered, would then, hesitate with their words. Or they'd cover up their end of the speech by saying.."I'm just saying this because my friend told me to pass it on." (ngee~)

I remembered one of us, then, giving us the story of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq

He was Prophet Muhammad's bestfriend.

And because of his love towards Islam and da'wah

he didnt wait long to spread, to share, to tell people of what he know.

As soon he was told by the Prophet to start his da'wah

he didn't wait to become a perfection

he immediately went out and dealt with his duty.

As I encounter one thing after another at KMB,

I soon realized

that the cliche phrase was right. No matter how...demotivating it sounded. It's fact 101.

We'd be tested.

I mean, of course, we'd be tested.

But what do we do to the tests is the question.

Sure, you can share millions of advices.

And sure, you'd forget as time passes.

But then; the question is,

if it's the rules of Allah, how can we ever forget?

If our princips are based on what He sketched..

then it won't have to be manipulated; it won't have to be purified in one way or another just so as to derive ourself from the guilt.

Everybody will be tested.

And no one can fail from questioning their moves and actions

Things have consequences.

And if you don't know where you're going, you can easily be misguided.

My senior told me that if you wanna know if what you're doing is right or wrong

Take a few seconds, reminding yourself that Allah is watching

If you feel uneasy

Leave whatever it is that you're doing.

But if you feel okay,

Then take control.

Human is...weird

You can make millions of school rules, thousands of job application terms and hospital and bank regulations.

They'd complain, make a fuss, but at the end of the day,

they'd obey.

Because they want what they want.

Or they are afraid of the consequences, the fines, jail, court, everything.

Allah made simple rules.

Why can't we obey?

And are we not afraid of what He promised?

He gave you sunshine today.

He could have very well take away you life while you were asleep.

But He loves you.

Everyone will be tested. Make a choice.

by: Tested and forever will be, FaithHana.

*sem 2 oh sem 2....

Rancho Chanhad says...umm...dang, I'll have to watch the movie again. LOL.

The meaning of Eid al-Adha.. redefined.

Assalamualaikum

Oh wow! Look at the date of my last post, it's been like.. like.. 4 months ago! Even my first semester in my new college has already finished.. Since I haven't been here for quite a while, allow me to share some updates about my life since I was away~~ (I put them in bullets and numbers because I thought it'd look cool like that >.<)

Update #1

I've enrolled myself in INTEC, Shah Alam. Which means I'm no longer a high school student.. which means I had advanced into a whole new level of education.. which also means I already used pointers for all my subject grades!

Update #2

(I think Ive grown taller by a few inch since I last checked my height.)

Update #3

I dont know what else is new about me. (or Im just too lazy to write them down.) Update #1 and 2 basically conclude it all.

So, like many other friends my age I have, college and university life had shown us a whole new perspective of life and the real world; and man, I gotta say, it's a tough world we got out there. Like for me, the competition I face in INTEC is crazy! Everyone else is so good that sometimes I wonder whether I belong there with the rest of them. Nevertheless, the past 3 months was a fantastic journey; doing things Ive never done before (or things I never thought I would do).

So life has changed.. how? Ive been observing myself and some of my college friends, and this is what I can conclude. To prove how one can really change over time, let me give you a few examples.. As I grew older, I no longer found that Harry Potter is interesting (as a proof, Ive never even watched the second part of the final movie. Yeah I know, I'm so outdated!) I used to go crazy over the books, the movies, the whole thing! I used to do a scrap book about everything HP, typed, printed, and neatly decorated. I used to pretend I was a part of the casts, and I would scream 'Experliamus' or 'Impedimenta' at trees and cars. And I think you certainly wouldnt wanna know what happened to my mom's (Nimbus 2000) brooms.. -.-

Changes occurred to some college friends also; boys would tend to be more serious in their studies (not!).. And girls would develop that little sense of fashion they got deep down underneath themselves (handbags and wedges.. I'm just not there yet lol)

College life changes a person too you know..

Everyone I know from INTEC have grown thinner due to hunger and they're too lazy to go out and spend money on expensive food even in mamak restaurants.

And some even drive everyday to college (oh so cool!)

And I just knew recently that staying up at 4 in the morning to finish off assignments is a pretty normal thing college kids do. Especially if you do things in the nick of time. Lecturers dont go to class asking you to hand in your homeworks like school teachers would.. If you submit, you're a good student and they would keep that in mind; and if you dont, there goes 30% of your final CGPA. Scary, huh?

I gotta say, life is much more enjoyable when you're no longer in school. No offense, high school, but you give us tough time with your overloaded homeworks and strict rules. But I know they are all there to 'teach me lessons' and 'make me a better person'. And when you go to college, and some kids (apart from yourself) take advantage of that freedom; terrible things resulted, and you'd wish there are certain rules at the first place. So rules are not all bad at all.

So since Faith is currently busy with her final exam and stuff (Kolej Maha Busy indeed..), and since Im having a 2-month-semester-break (ahhhh bliss), I'll be updating stuff on this blog so people who read this wont think the authors are a couple of nerds with alzheimer's-ish brains that forgot all about the existence of this blog. So here goes..

Since we just finished celebrating Eid al-Adha a few days ago, I think it'd be just right to post something about that. So my eid went like it normally would; waking up early in the morning to help my mom prepare food (*cough* but this year she was done with everything without my help because *cough* I woke up a bit lat.., she woke up too early *cough*), having a nice clothes to put on, and walking to the nearest surau for the eid al-adha prayers. And like my usual eid would go by, I would rush back home and never stay to watch the cows being slaughtered as the sacrifice ritual. Instead, I would wait anxiously at home for anyone to bring back the parts of rib and meat so my mom can cook us delicious 'sup tulang' or 'kari daging' for the next few days..

Then I played with my nephews and went online. And you guys can guess what happens next and the rest of the day..

So basically that was how my day went. Poof! Just like that.

But then, after a few years having that kind of routined-celebration-day, I started to wonder just recently: is this how it is supposed to be celebrated at the first place? By going online day and night? Is this how I suppose to feel about the whole sacrifice made by prophet Abraham thousands of years ago? The meat and the ribs distributed for the whole community, is it just another households-sharing-deed kind of stuff, and nothing more?

Then, two days ago, I kinda had a light bulb moment all of the sudden. It made me think, define and redefined the meaning of eid al-Adha altogether, and for a moment there, I enjoyed the pleasure the thought.

Two days ago, my mom was visited by a refugee from a country-at-war. She always comes to our house to sell some home-made sambal, and my mom would always be a regular customer. Mom would buy it from her in a very large scale, then mom would distribute it into packs so she can sell them to her friends. This way, the refugee can earn money the right way.

So that day, my mom's workplace had a gotong-royong for the cow-slaughtering ritual. As requested, she received quite a lot of meat and rib parts. And when she got home, she asked me to help her distribute those meats, for the refugee would come and visit us afterwards. And when she did come, we handed her a very heavy bag of fresh cow parts, waiting to be cooked and served. Instantly, she had a very happy face on her. And she kept saying 'others would love to have this, others would love to have this', which is because she promised my mom that she would distribute the cow parts some more to others from a refuge center. That day, she left our house early because she was very enthusiastic with what she had and with what she was going to give out to others.

Seeing all that happening right with my own two eyes made me all tearful and touched. I did not just tell the story because I was trying to be boastful for what my mother did, though I do find that what she did was truly inspiring. But my point here is that perspectives can be very interesting at times. How one thing can be taken lightly by some people, but for others, it meant the world to them. How eid al-adha for some people was celebrated with so little meaning, but for others it's a day that they would always cherish. How a simple beef rib soup can make me full for the day, it can make others not go hungry for the whole week.

Sometimes we would brag over small things that we feel incomplete in our life. We want perfections and only perfections in everything that we receive. We whine and complain when we have to face drawbacks at some points of our life. But little do we know that there are others who would fight to live a life like ours. Others whose life are far worse and incomparably more painful; yet they are so determined to make the best of what they have.

These are the people who truly deserve to be happy on eid al-adha. And it gives me a clear reminder also; to always be grateful for the life that I have. And each and every one of you that are reading this should too..

"I cried because I have no shoes.. until I saw a man with no feet."

signing off,

cokelat chip

p/s: I cant believe Im saying this, but I think Im hating holidays. They are so plainly boring and unproductive. (see what I did there, I just complained again!)

Human hearts

Salam alaikum. OH MY GOD! *Rereading my last post----sneak peak on the date..OMA~ It couldn't have been that long, could it? I mean, I know I haven't blogged for long but dehhhh...medical check-up was ages ago.

Well, anyway, updates about my life and Cokelatchip's...well, we're settling down alright. Note that we're finally at different places taking different courses, so yeah..., it has been a while since we last met. And so, the blog indirectly became a sayonara for quite some times too... *susah kot hidup besfren dok jauh... uhuks

Many things have happened since. Life. College. Friends. Music. Fun. Ramadan. Eid. Ramadan...~

Let me tell you something; KMB is so dang cool, they let us free by Wednesday. I was baffled when that was announced coz I've really set my mind that I'd only be home after the Jumaat prayers and tada, there it was, one early gift for Raya from the college.

So, I went home and come that night, my family and I, including my very old grandma went to Masjid Negara for terawih paryers. *Yeah, its quite far from where we lived but the mosque have become somewhat the family tradition since me and siblings were kids so...

As I step out of the car and make my way to the gate of the mosque, I couldn't help but to give a small giggle at the sight of small kids running around, racing up the stairs and poking each other's head. *So childish, I thought. G solat terawih laa budak2....It's the last 5 days ponn..

But then again, that was me when I was what, six? No, ten? I couldn't remember exactly when was it that I started tagging along to Masjid Negara to actually pray. Somehow or other, my parents just didn't force us to join in the terawih when we were kids. We'd pray isya' with the jemaah, *then mumble and complain between us siblings that the imam's recitation was way too long for our little legs to bear, so terawih was just not possible. LOL. So much for excuse.
Other times, it would be because some elders were trying to seperate us with our mum by saying we were not old enough to be together with her at the first line, so..."Pray at the back, please" *We'd make faces and decided to play hide-and-seek instead, just to show our rebellious side. And that's where we'd find new friends, play cards at the back of the mosque, play hide and seek until we get totally lost and scream out for the whole mosque to hear... boy, those were good times.
*And suddenly I was tempted to join the kids. haha. nahh...

Looking at my grandma alone was enough to give me reasons of why I was there at the mosque to pray. She was over seventy. Her legs are not as strong as it have been. She had to hold onto me for support and took one step at a time to climb the stairs of the mosque *tangge masjid negare tinggi woooohhh.

There'd be times between the climbing of the stairs where she'd stop for a while, give a tired laugh to me and claim that she's sorry she's holding me back. And during the prayers, I know that she's dying to pray sitting down but, somehow, she just doesn't want to. She'd bear it all...until one day, the imam (I think he's from Egypt or somewhere) was reciting the Qunut during the Witr and boy, the Qunut was around 20 minutes. So, my grandma just sat down.
All in all, she's a superlady. She and all the other old women and men that came to the mosque on the last ten days.
And did 21 rakaat.
Seriously, that amount of strength you give to do what it takes to let Allah see your effort; that, that is admirable. And woha!, this year is a whole new record for Masjid Negara. I have never seen such four full lines on the fifth final days of Ramadan.

Usually, at the end of fasting month, people just don't bother to go to the mosque anymore. It'd either be terawikh at home, or going back to their respective villages or well, trading the time of terawikh to bake cookies or whatnot..everybody have their own responsibilities and agendas.. Me, myself, included. And the number of saff lines at the mosque will automatically just become lesser as days passed but... not this year.
You should see the 25th night.
And the 27th.
And the final Ramadan night.
Man.... things've changed...
When I was six, the final days would be cool because we get to be in front even if we arrive late and at that time, Masjid Negara was not equipped with air-conditioning system so, only those at front would get the standing fan.. And plus, there will be no elders to shove us at the back of the line. Because it was a single line anyway. And we'd be at the end of it, so, no trouble. But this year....
We arrived even before the Isya' azan and the lines of the praying hall was already tripled. And that's the women's. The guys in front...I just couldn't count the lines (not that it was uncountable, I just couldn't count it from the back, okayyyy)

And it just got me thinking suddenly. Sure enough, the world is getting worse day by day. People are getting wilder, teenagers are more daring, Islam is seen as terrorism....what's haram is seen as open-minded, what's halal is manipulated..what's pure is outdated. Yeah, sure. That's the world. but, human hearts, ....
if we want it, we want it. And if He's guiding the path...nothing can stop Him.

There was a saying that Islam will be on top again when the number of teenagers coming to early morning (suboh) prayer at the mosque increases.
well, why suboh?
because it's a fight between obligatory ond desire.

Terawikh, ova here, is not an obligatory. It's a sunnah. One can do it, there are a lot of benefits, a lot of deed, still it's not compulsory. People come to the mosque, people do it at home, muslims around the world were appreciating the Holy month to get in touch with The Creator, Allah the Almighty.

And
if the lines tripled this year; there's a good chance that there will be more lines next year. With more teenagers, He wills it.

sometimes, when we stress too much at the downfall of islam, we get easily demotivated. And when we see things like this only do we realize that negativity is a way of hitting us back to reality, but it's not so much of spirit-building. You see people worshipping disco balls and concerts, dump babies on dustbins and do all these madness and the only thing you can think of is that this is it. It's the end of the world. There's not much you can do except for trying to stay away and not get tempted. *Ingat senang ke? concerts..~ T_T
Yeah, its almost like the end.

When in fact, it's never the end.
Until you die.
Islam is rising again. Sod the TV, the exaggerating propaganda from CNN, they know nothing of human hearts. One that He and only He controls.

The lines are tripling.
by: FaithHana
p.s: rendang dan lemang; n oblong burger from RAMLY tolonglah....kenape anda bertige mesti sedap sangat? saye ade karnival sukan lepas bukak cuti dehhhhhh-.- sorry megatron.