Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Of Guilt and Love

Salam everyone,

So after endless 'tag-you're-it' (read: tag-you post) skype session with Cokelatcip, I've decided to give in and write something down here.
(coz I'm cool and tolerate well with immature kids =p )

Anyway, as some of you might have realized, Cokelatcip and I have sort of abandoned this blog for a while. To be honest, I can come up with a bunch of explanation to why I did so. But let me just be honest.
I stopped writing because I was exhausted.
Yeah. Coz, I dunno, somehow it felt like a never ending crisis.
There will be some cease-fire, some new agreement to allow access to the rafah-border, some actual light that things are going to be if not okay, at least improving...
then suddenly, another bomb will just drop down from the sky. the way it has always been since 1948.

And as if Palestine is not enough news,
there was the massacre at Rohingya as well. The whole ethnicity that practices Islam was demolished within a short period of time.
And then Syria.
Lord, Syria was slaughtered by their own people.
By their own government.

It's so illogical how a bunch of things in this world can go so wrong when the muslims are so massive in number that I just can't help to not want to know anything anymore.

I got tired. I got really tired of these issues, strangling me, asking me for my contribution that I decided that I had enough.
I decided to take a break and like-sort of waive the whole thing away until I'm ready to get back on.

Ya Allah, what sort of thinking was that?
Looking back at how stupid I was, I realize that I was giving excuses to escape. I blamed the bias in the media, the unreliable sources that limits my capability of mashing stuff together into a blog article. I blamed the world. The muslims. The people who could actually make a difference, like, i dunno, the presidents of the muslim countries and the UAE (United Arab Emirates)...

thinking back...
I went away too.
So, what difference does it make.
Whether I'm the person holding a big post somewhere that can secure Palestine safekeeping in seconds; whether I'm that person or not, I'm a muslim too.

I would be held accountable for every second I decide to ignore the issue of the muslims worldwide.
The people at Rohingya espescially; I didn't pay that much attention at all to what happened there.
I heard stories about it but I didn't bother to look it up and give the injustice that have happened if not prayers, at least some minimal attention.

I dunno what kind of heartless monster I've became.
And now I'm thinking,
what am I gonna tell Allah later.
When I stand before him on judgment day. (well, that is if He wants to see me, what if He doesn't?naudzubillahminzalik)
How am I gonna justify that I did pray for my brothers and sisters around the world and I really thought that, that was good enough. That my generic prayers, one that I can quickly recite after the fardhu prayers, crosses out the need for me to do anything further.
That, I dunno, I may have felt- that I have my life too.


I remember one of Nouman Ali Khan's lecture that I've randomly listen to before.
He mentions that there's one part of a verse in the quran that says,

 cÎ)ur (#öq©9uqtGs? öAÏö7tFó¡o $·Böqs% öNä.uŽöxî ¢OèO Ÿw (#þqçRqä3tƒ /ä3n=»sVøBr& ÇÌÑÈ   

"if you people turn away, he will replace you with someone other than you, and they will not be like you"

If we turn away, Allah does not lose anything.
Allah can simply replace us with others that can, and will actually do the job.
And this is scary.

As Nouman Ali Khan puts it, 
we think Allah need us to build this ummah, to have Islam in this earth.
But no.
Allah can remove each and every one of us if He wish, and Islam will still be there.

In another word,
If you wanna leave,
Or rather,
If I wanna leave, by all means. do.
Islam will not be affected.
I will be.

Lets not turn away, people. Lets not get exhausted too quickly.
After all, for the time being, all that we had to do was to spread the news. To be aware. To constantly pray for them.To boycott. To donate. 
If that is too much to ask for, then how do you justify this.

or this

I bet they'll be horrified to know that we felt somewhat burdened to boycott Starbucks or Nestle.

We will, insyaAllah get to the stage where our voice is heard and we didn't have to scream.
We will get there.
If so He wills.

It will be okay to die not witnessing the victory of Islam, the freedom of Palestine, the stops of Muslim massacre in any land in this world.
It's okay if we die first.
So long that we didn't become a part of the problem.

A speaker from Aqsa Syarif once came to my college and said,

The story of Palestine will end eventually. 
It has to end somehow. There's Judgement Day.
And Allah promises victory for the muslims before then.
This story, well..
Everyone of us is in it.

You choose what character you want to play.
And you choose where you stand.

I've made a mistake before. I ran. I escaped.
But He let me live. 

He let me live.

"if you people turn away, he will replace you with someone other than you, and they will not be like you"

Allah, don't replace me.
Don't replace us.
We love Islam. 
Lead us back to it.
Make us part of the victory.

by: Faith Hana. 

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